Short update..
I hope everyone had a great Christams and New Year. We did. No serious fights between me and the hubby. This was the first year for that. I’m definately at peace with no longer TTC, although I want another baby this isn’t the right time and I’m sure I didn’t get pregnant because that is not what God wants in my life right now. I still get a little upset when I hear about other people getting pregnant espcially ones who I don’t feel would or are as good of a mom as I am. I look at my youngest and she is still a baby or at least I can pretend she is.
Some sad news to pass along. A woman who used to post on the same babycenter board as me lost her baby on Decemeber 23. I believe she was only 5 months along. I saw pictures of her and she looks like a tiny angel. I can’t imagine what she is going through. I hope I never have to.
The pool cover blew off the pool for the second time this year. We usually don’t have very high winds but occasionally see some. I guess we will have a big mess to clean up in the spring when we open it. Quite aggavating when our water was cystal clear the whole summer and until the cover blew off the first time.
I watched the movie American Dreams today. I normally like most movies I see but this one was absoultely horrible. Mandy Moore went back and forth from evil to sweet, and then her boyfriend and the American Dreams guy die in the end and she takes over the show. It was almost like a story that a 5th grader would come up with.
Finally over….
The day after I had my two nice temp rises I had one temp drop that I attributed to sleeping with my mouth open (because of a cold) and then another steep drop the next day. So about 6 am I wake up with lots of pressure in my lower abdomen got to the bathroom and sure enough AF was here. The cramps this time around are horrible. Usually a couple excedrin or tylenol will take care of my cramps and then I can go about my day but not this time. I havn’t been able to get back to sleep. Not only that but I filled a tampon in two hours and when I went to the bathroom blood started squirting out…yuck. Plus I have the shakes and I’m nauseous. Strangest period I have ever had.
Christmas BFN…..
I wasn’t going to test on Christmas Morning my temp and been going down slightly which didn’t indicate to me that we had concieved. But I gave into temptation and tested. I didn’t tell DH untill late that night when I was throwing away my test. He said “Oh babe I’m sorry, we’ll just keep trying” I don’t think we will.
There is still some hope after my temp dip I had an increase even higher than before. My chart is looking tri-phasic if I have another sustained rise tomorrow. Perhaps I will get a BFP who knows or maybe this cold is making my temp higher. I guess I’ll find out soon.
Poor thing : (
The girls had their Nephrology appt today. My oldest needed her BP meds upped and needs two different inhalers. The doctor wasn’t sure if it was just a bronchial infection or the beggining of asthma. He said only time will tell. My youngest is great and needed no medication adjustments.
I’m tired I have a few more things to say about our doc visit but I can blog about them later
I was right…
I confirmed ovulation and will probably test on Christmas day. I’ll be 9 dpo early and could be neg even if I am prego but I’m going to try anyways. And if I don’t get a BFP then I won’t test until I’m late. My temp slowly drops before AF and then a big dip on the day of her arival so I will most likely be able to tell if I’m pregnant with out taking a test.
The girls are doing well. My oldest came downstairs after I had already put her to bed after I sent her back upstairs I heard her talking to herself. As I got closer I heard her say ” I sad, I really sad” I came in and asked what was wrong. She hugged me and said “I love you too mommy. Your my girl.” She is so sweet.
I’m a little sad to say that this is almost definately my last month TTC. I’m tired of hearing my DH make rude comments about how I want another one. Our relationship really isn’t stable. Who knows how much longer we will survive. Don’t worry my few readers I will still blog just about other things.
Ovulation Finally…at least I hope so…
I had a good temp rise today and if it stays that way I will be positive that I ovulated yesterday. Which means on Christmas day I will be 9 days past ovulation. Early to test but it would still be possible to get a BFP if I am pregnant but a BFN won’t mean I’m definately not.
The husband and I aren’t doing to well. Among our many many problems in the past we just don’t seem to like each other anymore. He doesn’t know yet but I’m leaving for a week in January. I’ll be telling him after the holidays. I’m sure this will cause a commotion.
The girls are doing well. We have a doctors appt to see the neprhologist on the 21st. I will be getting genetic testing done for the dominant form of the disease. It will take 6-12 weeks to get back so I won’t know much after the appt. My oldest (hahah I think I her imaginary name was Jade) keeps coughing and at times throws up on an empty stomach. The doctor said that her kidneys could get large enough to cause that but its has only happened a few times so I will mention it to him. She is daytime potty trained but I cannot find diapers that will hold all of her nighttime urinating.
My youngest is doing well. She still isn’t walking but, can walk just won’t. Still loves her boobs, she was in bed with me last night and in the pitch black unbuttoned my shirt and latched herself on. She is so funny
Baby Dancing
We did the deed yesterday. Cervical fluid wasn’t too stretchy but very watery. Didn’t manage to get to it today like I had hoped. Of course things would be a lot easier if we hadn’t been fighting. But that is another blog in its self with a completely different website. I do get quite annoyed with my husbands constant changing mind. I want a baby, no I don’t want a baby, yes a want a baby but I don’t want to be rushed, yes a I want a baby but I don’t want you (meaning me) to try to hard ( I layed down for 20 mins after sex to help give the sperm a chance). I want to increase my chances of a boy although for some reason I find myself wanting another girl. So he needs to listen to me when I say its time to go. Whatever, I’m to the point where I just don’t care what he wants. No if only I could find a halfway decent looking rich guy to sweep me off my feet and take care of me and my girls I’d be set.
I’m hoping for ovulatin and readers because its boring writing to myself.
Mommy your my best friend
My oldest daughter (lets call her Jade) was getting some water from the cooler today and her baby sister (lets call her Mia) was trying to make a mess by letting the cooler water run all over the floor. Jade told Mia “Stop! Mommy is my best friend! Don’t make a mess!” My heart melts a little everytime she tells me “Mommy your my best friend.” Of course she does come up with some crazy things to say. For example; When we were potty training I told her that we had sexy underwear for her to wear and she had to stay dry. Well sexy underwear was to hard to say so she calls them to this day “Sexy Wear Ons” Actually everyone in the house calls them that and some of my friends and not to mention the grandparents really loved that one.
I’d like to blog more but I need to get us all something to eat, Perhaps I will make it on later tonight.
P.S. Fertility Update Cervical fluid was watery this morning but position was low firm and closed. Probably won’t start baby dancing for a few more days. I hope for an early ovulation usually don’t ovulate until cycle day 18-21
